2002-12-02 - 10:52 p.m.
Oasis: Not Your Parents' Beatles
It's depressing to admit, but after reading the Internet news and seeing that Oasis guy Liam Gallagher got his teeth knocked out during a fight in a Berlin hotel, I went to visit the Oasis web site. Then another. On the second site I found the ultimate guide to Oasis lyrics; they are not good. But simplistic stuff like "These are crazy days but they make me shine/ Time keeps rolling by" definitely makes me feel less ashamed of my own songwriting, which, fortunately, is not getting me into brawls in Berlin hotels, but unfortunately is not making me millions of dollars.
I should be grateful that the Oasis brothas aren't around my apartment right now -- they'd probably beat me up. Which is so strange, considering how wussy their songs are. Whoops, that would have probably earned another punch. Or an intentional cigarette burn in my bed.
War, Patriotism, and Other Bad Ideas
In other news, today hasn't been such a good one. It hasn't been bad, either, but all day I've carried around with me that old familiar feeling of doom and dread. It's partly because the Supreme Court will probably eliminate the Miranda warning, yet another personal right that Americans apparently don't need anymore because we've got more freedoms than, you know, Oman and Qatar combined. Then, the U.S. government has required schools to hand over the addresses and information of every student, or else the federal funding is zippo, gone. I have no idea how parents could let their kids go off to die for oil and the Rich White Men + Condi cartel, or how the kids could decide that's a good idea, but I guess people are stupid, and it's their right to go die on behalf of corporados who couldn't give two shits about them.Also depressing was the news from New Jersey that a bus driver faces six months in jail and/or a $500 fine for telling his passengers he was "taking [them] to the Taliban" after several asked him if he was lost. The comment freaked out several passengers, who dialed 911. Eighteen cop cars came. It was a stupid comment on this bus driver's part (he should know that Americans in general have no critical thinking skills and can't identify humor unless it involves a recycled sitcom joke or toilet commentary), but geez, did anyone really think he was going to drive them to Afghanistan? Because he can't -- there's a fucking ocean between New Jersey and the Middle East. I guess these button-happy defenders of freedom forgot about that rather obvious body of water in their haste to get somebody in trouble with Freehold 5-0 and keep the terrorists from winning. Or maybe they got Taliban and al-Qaeda mixed up. There's so many terrorists running around these days that it's easy to get confused. Still, why would a terrorist work for Greyhound? And if the bus driver was a terrorist, wouldn't they say "I'm taking you to God," or "to see Mohammed Atta and the 76 virgins," or something more incendiary like that?
Conspiracy Theory
So an Austrian study says men who mountain bike frequently are less fertile. Funded by Citroen? Saudi Arabia? At any rate, if this is true than someone should start a campaign to get more men to mountain bike. We'll need alternative forms of contraception in this country after the Bushies get through with us.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. � Lily Tomlin |
