This is the subject line of an email I recently received at work. Turns out that a San Francisco musician named Jynkz has produced a song that you can download here. My friend and I listened to this song and have concluded that Jynkz would make a fabulous Christian rock act. He has the throat-straining vocals and swirling metallic guitars of 1987 Stryper � and a weird "y instead of i" name to boot.

Here's some memorable quotes from Jynkz's press release, apparently produced by a man called Jeff Neugebauer:

* "The anti-war fans are using the Internet to hurl emails and post links about the song faster than you can say, 'We Don't Want Your War'"
* "We Don't Want Your War is nothing short of heroic"

There's also talk of a "gut-gripping music video" of the song. Ouch!

You Should Be Feeling Less Terrified Now ...

Mr. Rogers Is Dead.

Mr. Fred Rogers died of stomach cancer today at age 74. He was from Latrobe, Pa., which is between my hometown (Johnstown) and Pittsburgh. He was one of the few local celebrities in Pittsburgh not noted for his athletic prowess. Lydia Lunch was another unsporty famous Pittsburgh resident (well, she might have worked out or taken aerobics classes, but did not play for a professional league) for a while there, but she left town shortly after her arrival. Then there's that Michael Chabon guy, but he hasn't lived in Pittsburgh for years. And besides, he's not very representative of Pittsburgh culture. Too hip.

I only saw Mr. Rogers once in real life, at a Chinese restaurant in Squirrel Hill � one of Pittsburgh's most interesting neighborhoods (at least it was ... corporate stores were replacing the menorah shops and bagel places around the time I left three years ago). Mr. Rogers sat in a booth near mine and was wearing a bow tie. I don't know what he ordered. It was very exciting to see him because he was one of my heroes growing up, even though his slow speech patterns were a bit creepy. As I got older and realized that many people in the world represent the antithesis of Rogerism (greedy and hard and mean, where he was gentle and caring and sweet ... at least on TV), I appreciated his work more and more. He was an excellent entertainment source for children, the kind we need more of.

History Repeats Itself

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger." � Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

Sorry: Bloggy content

Anyone who has noodled around this site knows that I'm not particularly fond of blogs, preferring instead web sites with content that conforms to the standard three-act narrative structure. Sketches and well-spelled random musings about topics are also fine (otherwise I'd be hating my own site). But life has been so hectic lately that it's been hard to sit down for a solid hour or two and write. However, I will be posting my newest story, "Itchy Rebel" � a fleshed-out version of the "Fun At the Doctor's" page posted to the left � within the next few hours. It's long!

One of the things eating up my time is sewing. Last night I cranked out two skirts and started my second jacket. The plan is to purchase a digital camera and take photos of these garments in order to sell them online.

Bikers Beware!

Michael Bluejay of Bicycleaustin.com has posted this recent note from me to he, sent Saturdee. ("UT" is the University of Texas at Austin):

Exploding stuff in the street at UT

Lauri Apple writes: "Some dunderheads around UT are putting explosive things - I believe beverage containers, but I'm not sure - on the streets. I was riding home from a friend's house tonight and just turned the corner from the alley east of the Dobie onto 21st, when a thing exploded right in front of me. It was in the middle of the lane. I called 911. This exploding thing totally scared the bejeezus out of me, and luckily it blew up before I was within 10 feet of it (missed it by seconds). It could also have been very dangerous for a motorist, too ... but I think the explosive was glass, so ... SHARDS on bare skin. Not a pretty picture."

Glad to have gotten the word "bejeezus" posted on new territory. Thanks, Michael.

Oh, That Saddam

Hasn't Saddam realized by now that the Bush Administration isn't interested in talking and listening? The only people the Bushies hear are themselves. The rest of the world is the global "focus group." What a naive little murderer-dictator, that Saddam. He's partying like it's 1991.

Are you a hipster?

You can take a quiz here to determine whether you are a hipster or just a plain old person. Apparently I am not a hipster: My score was a measly 47%. But now I know the answers to the quiz so if I take it again and score 100%, I'll be a hipster, maybe. "Deck," as the hipsters supposedly say.

Time to Return to PR School

Got an unsolicited piece of cryptica in the email today from PRnetwire.com. It begins: "DALLAS, TX - Feb. 21, 2003 /PRnetwire.com/ -- You may have heard of buying stars. Now there is a company selling the 'Lone Star.'"

Who buys stars? What are they talking about? I read on.

"SOT Group, Ltd., a company whose partners are Texans, launches Share of Texas (www.shareoftexas.com), an intriguing Texas gift item where anyone can own one square foot of Texas and be a 'bona fide' Texan."

SOT. The SOT Group. Like the British "sot"? Well, yes. But don't tell them.

More Crap from the PR Doomdevils

"Choose foods your family will eat" � ready.gov/

Back from Oblivion

Ever meet someone who just sucked you out of your world and into theirs for a while? That has recently happened to me. It's a good thing. But now this person is out of town, so I'm at home and putting my brain back together again.

Expect more writing soon. For now I'm waiting for a panel of judges that includes two friends, a co-worker, and my parents to critique this story I just finished tonight.