2002-11-25 - 11:43 p.m.
A Public Service Announcement
We're getting into the thick of the holiday season, which means that pretty soon a lot of people will be flying around in the sky in planes full of pilots and peanuts and fellow pilgrim descendants. Some folks will be flying over Texas. Well, it could get really ugly if they try passing over el Arbusto's ranchero in Crawford. To help people avoid troubles down the runway, here's a map of the restricted no-fly zone above the Executive Ranch:
So what you want to NOT do is ride your planes over the designated area, okay? Because if you do, well, don't expect any turkey from Mr. Bush -- though some secret service agents might cook YOUR turkey.
Turkeys and Twins
Speaking of Bushes, happy 21st Birthday to Jenna (aka "Chanderella") and Barbara Bush! Some of my co-workers suggested going to Chuy's (site of the infamous fall-down pic) and drinking a margarita in celebration of these two boozing beauties, but no one I know of took him up on the offer. Besides, it wouldn't be as fun without them. And none of us have their number, so ...
Looking for good news in a world full of -- you know
My job as a reporter for Austin's paper of record can be pretty darned depressing at times. Class war, war on terrorism, drug war, war on Winona Ryder ... it's all too much for a sensitive, pacifistic woman to take. So just now I did a search on y----.com ("sorry" � The Brand Censor) for "good news," and found this: The Good News Network. Their latest headline:
"Nigeria's government said it will not allow its people to be stoned to death. Junior Minister of Foreign Affairs Dubem Onyia said the government was aware of international outrage over recent death sentences imposed by Islamic courts. 'We restate that no person shall be condemned to death by stoning in Nigeria.'" Wow, that is good news! Too bad it's 2002 A.D. instead of 902 A.D., or this would be an extremely progressive policy change. Then agan, here in Texas we're nowhere near taking such a big step forward by abolishing the notorious needle.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure how new the "Good News" is. Still, Brooke Shields approves of the site, and she went to Princeton � so you know it's quality.
Next: Positive Press.
I'm a little suspicious of this one, given that one of the main headers for "good news" is Kids � and stories about kids generally suck. But the "International" section included this story about a
paralyzed Polish fellow that interests me, being that I'm Polish and all. He's pretty young, so he's like a kid...
All right, after scrolling through "International" I think the Positive Press is giving out some mixed signals. Consider this story, about Ukrainian sewer children. Yes, yes, the two American women help the sewer children, and some of the kids escape their horrible predicament, but still ... they're living in sewers! Sniffing glue! That's not positive at all, even if there's a light at the end of the tunnel for some of the kids. Here's a link to the organization helping them, Father's Care. People should know more about what's going on in the Ukraine -- it's a messed up place.
From Good to Good Lord
Naturally, many people confuse "Good News" with "Biblical." I don't agree, but sometimes it's interesting to check out what Christian webmasters want to tell us about THEIR master. At the Good News site, I found this:
Good News Etc. has lots of stuff on it, but it looks too sterile. However, it does advertise a husband/wife team who call themselves "experienced Christian realtors," and an "apostle" named Clifford.
Getting sleepy now ... But I must say that reading all of this God-fearing stuff makes me a little envious. These folks share a culture of crosses and radio stations that is totally foreign to me, until I decide to start going to church and make wreaths with fake pine cones purchased from the Hobby Hole or some other similiarly named store and pop Testamints all day. Need to get a husband, a hairdresser, a Dodge Caravan, and let my troubles float down the air shaft and into the mainstream. Buy potpourri pies and try not to let the kids set them on fire, that kind of thing.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. � Lily Tomlin |
