2003-01-03 - 5:12 p.m.
The Obligatory Moment of Self-Pity
It's Saturday night, and once again I'm at home feeling sorry for myself. Instead of out having fun with other people, or even sitting home appreciating the quiet and free time, I feel like the most forgettable person on earth. No one's called me (well, one person ... it was business) and no one has emailed me. All day I talked to only two people, and one of them was by accident (we saw each other at the park). That person has a lot of friends and an interesting life ... he's my ex-boyfriend, actually. He's probably out doing something interesting right now, while I sit here being gloomy.
Okay, Thanks, No more of that Por Favor
Obviously I'm not the loneliest person on earth � though its times like these that bruise the self-esteem. Sometimes when I feel like this down, it helps to think of the Polunsky People � for non-Texans, that's the 453 people currently on this state's death row. Those folks are definitely some of the loneliest on earth. One guy I read about today at this amazing web site can't even speak English. He doesn't get letters from anybody � his life basically consists of warm or cold food, lots of white noise, no freedom whatsoever, and the thought that one day he'll most likely die by lethal injection. It's the worst existence I can think of, except maybe the situation of political prisoners in countries like Turkey and North Korea.The Texas Court of Criminal Appeals rarely gives breaks to its most famous prisoners, mainly because the folks who sit on the court (some might call them "justices") don't feel like it. Many prisoners have posted their testimonials on various web sites ��from "I didn't do it" protestations, to elaborate histories of their cases that include court documents and breakdowns of flaws in their lawyers' questioning. Often the lawyers are well-intentioned but extremely under-prepared to handle capital murder cases. And as everyone reading this probably knows, lawyers have fallen asleep during trials ... Texas has fought to maintain that, basically arguing that it isn't a constitutional violation if your lawyer's sleeping through your trial, as long as you've got a lawyer. You can bet that many folks in Texas would still say that having public defenders is excessive; the state only passed the Fair Defense Act � intended to ensure a base level of quality in counsel � last session (2001), and there's already fear that legislators will try to weaken it this go-around.
Just found this: "The Constitution doesn't say the lawyer has to be awake." ��Harris County Judge Doug Shaver, in defense of an attorney who he allowed to sleep in his courtroom rather than represent his client. Of the state's 254 counties, Harris County has sent the most to death row; its largest city is Houston.
Two of the most troubling DR stories are those of Paul Colella, whose writing appears all over the web site above, and Henry "Hank Skinner." I guess the next guy on the executioner's list is Granville Riddle, set for Jan. 30.
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Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. � Lily Tomlin |
