96 Ounces for Jesus: A Country Epic
Hopefully this is self-explanatory.
96 Ounces For Jesus (Dedicated to George Jones)
I was driving down Interstate 40
When Fanny�s sign �peared afore me
red and white and glowing like
The bush of Moses burning bright
Look at that ole steak I said
Bathed in brownish marinade�
laid out on a silvery plate
thick and juicy, and flat as slate
Taters on the side and some
Musharooms and onions
96 ounces of flaming cow
a steak to eat for Jesus, now!
96 ounces for Jesus, yeah
But I didn�t know where to begin
96 ounces for Jesus
The One who died for all our sins
I pulled my Ford into Fanny�s lot
Yellow sun was burning hot
My loafers left a dusty trail
The landscape flat and dry as hell
Opened Fanny's entrance door
Greeted by the air conditioner
And the same gal from the highway sign
Her eyes stared deeply into mine
�How many sir?� she asked so gay
I said, �A stool at the bar�s okay�
She said to follow, so I did
Pulled my seat up next to a kid
From Oklahoma, 's where he came
Never asked him for his name
Cuz I was on a mission
To eat for my salvation
96 ounces for Jesus, yeah
But I didn�t know where to begin
96 ounces for Jesus
The Holy King of Heaven
I ordered the jumbo steak well-done
waitress took my order, said, "son,
if you finish this, you win a prize
A Fanny's T-shirt extra-large size"
She went to the kitchen, 10 minutes passed
then she came back with a sizzling mass
steak and potato and slaw on the side
and applesauce sweeter than a virgin bride
96 ounces for Jesus, yeah
I got my knife ready to cut
96 ounces for Jesus
The One who for us shed his blood
After 70 ounces I was stuffed
Juicy meat was turning tough
Only 26 ounces to go
Whether I�d finish I just didn�t know
Took a deep breath and swallowed hard
Looked down at my steak so charred
Baked potato turning cold
Butter the color of poor fool's gold
Waitress stopped by and asked me how
I was doing with my cow
�Still on the road to Calvary,� I cried,
could feel the Good Lord by my side
96 ounces for Jesus, yeah
My stomach hurt from the strain
96 ounces for Jesus
eating my meat in His good name
I got down to the ver� last bite
As you can imagine, I didn�t feel right
Looked at that fork, and pushed it in
Chewed real slow and swallowed it
Dropped my napkin on my plate
kneeled down to my right and prayed,
�Thank You Lord, for being there
through ounces 10 through 94
I�ve eaten this majestic meat
For you, who�s made my life complete
Perhaps one day I will meet you
At some heavenly barbecue"
"You did it, son!" The waitress said
and draped my T-shirt �pon my head
I paid my bill walked out the door
So glad not to be chewin� no more
Those 96 ounces for Jesus, yeah
I ate them all for Him
96 ounces for Jesus
The One who died for all our sins